The first lesson I've learned from parenthood- or maybe even just life in general- is that there is no plan. Things aren't always going to go perfectly. I definitely have high standards and self-diagnosed OCD, so a hard lesson to learn indeed. At first, everything did go according to plan. About a month after Josh and I decided we wanted a baby, we were pregnant! And perfect timing too! Being a teacher, May was the perfect month to bring a baby into this world. What was even more perfect, is I asked off two weeks ahead of time- I wanted to plan for baby. Oh, and yeah, I did ache and was tired.. so there was somewhat of a medical reason there. The cherry on top- I had a great student teacher who was able to be my long-term substitute! Like I said, it couldn't have been more perfect and according to my plan! My last day of school was April 24th, which was about a week and a half from my due date of May 4th, and over two weeks for the doctor's due date. My OBGYN had changed the due date late in pregnancy, but I didn't. I was determined to have this baby early. And early I almost had him!
On April 2nd, at 35/36 weeks, I was sent to triage at MoBAP because my nurse at my biweekly afternoon doctor's appointment had said that I was contracting every 2-3 minutes. I did not even feel them! I was hooked up to the stress machine, and that's when they found out. I remember calling my husband, who I told not to come to my appointment since we didn't have a fun ultrasound or anything. "So,.. they are sending me to the hospital because apparently I am contracting." It was super surreal. I thought, Wow, this having a baby thing must be easy! I can't even feel the contractions. My cervix wasn't dilated though and after a few hours and some medicine to stop labor, we went home. I even remember getting some Andy's ice cream on the way home (gotta satisfy those cravings!). Despite my principal's wishes, I even went on our field trip to the Missouri History Museum the next day! And then on April 4th, I admitted myself to triage. I was now super confused that I didn't know how to feel contractions. And since I couldn't feel them, I couldn't time them. A very frustrating thing! This time though, the contractions were all over the place. So again, I was sent home.
It wasn't until Thursday, May 7th when I'd really feel the contractions. Still, it wasn't what I thought it would be. My husband and I knew baby was coming soon. So, on his off day, we decided to run some errands. The first, to a recycling yard to cash in our aluminum cans and some copper wire. The road to this place was super bumpy. It was 11:30am. I felt off- I was contracting (or so I thought- I guess I could say I was cramping since that's how it felt) every 7 minutes. However, I still think I got some off times. After that, we went to BabiesRUs. I was having some major issues finding some white socks for baby. Plain white socks. You wouldn't think they're hard to find, but oh they are! I don't even remember if we bought anything, but we for sure weren't lucky with white socks. Next we went to Walmart. Josh went to return something, and I was on my search again for white socks. Again, no white socks! At this point I was contracting every 6-7 minutes. So, I decided that our last stop should be Sam's Club to return some extra ingredients my mom and I had from making 23 freezer meals earlier that week (yum- so worth it!). Finally, we were able to "just go home." When we got home, I started packing- my hospital bag was mostly packed, but I needed to pack the final things. Josh started making lunch. Apparently I wasn't clear that I thought this could be it, baby time. We cleaned the house just a bit- after all, if this was the real deal, someone would have to come in our house and take care of our pitbull.
We got to the hospital around 1:30. At this point I felt contractions every 4-5 minutes. I saw the sweet receptionist that I had seen twice before. I told her that if this isn't it, I wouldn't know what was. The cramps that came every 4-5 minutes were a bit painful, and it was hard to talk/think through them. They were definitely something I hadn't felt before during pregnancy. Plus, we were 4 days after my due date, and 4 days earlier than the doctor's due date for me.
This time, no medicine to stop labor. I was dilated to 5 cm at the time we got to the hospital. I remember them telling us, "You are going to have a baby tonight!" The contractions weren't that bad. According to plan, I got the epidural. Although I felt the epidural and didn't like that part (I have scoliosis and didn't like the pressure on my spine), I didn't feel anything after that. Again, labor, easy! It was Josh's job to call the parents. Of course his mom had a school concert to conduct that night. Eventually my mom, dad and sister got to the hospital. They came to the delivery room with us. They made me laugh as I ate popsicles. I realized I really hadn't had much to eat that day- oatmeal and a PBJ. Within a couple hours, I was already 7 cm dilated. The nurses told me that by 8:00pm I could start pushing and that the baby would be out in just a couple hours with the way things were going! So, my brother and his wife made their way up to the hospital. Once we decided that it was time to push, all the family members went to the waiting room. It was my plan for it to just be Josh and I in the delivery room.
At 10pm, there was still no baby. And even with the epidural, these contractions hurt! I felt SO much pressure in my butt! So much! After a couple of hours of pushing, they gave me a peanut ball to put between my legs. Then, we pushed some more. We pushed for 5 hours. On a scale of 0, +1, +2, +3, they couldn't see the baby's head at all. The last 45 minutes or so of pushing, they gave me pitocin to help speed things up. So, the contractions were even more painful, but still no progress. After a few times of the nurses mentioning a c-section, I asked to call Dr. Mormol to discuss it with him. And this is where my first expectation failed me. I cried to Dr. Mormol. I didn't want to have a c-section. It wasn't my plan to have a c-section, and surgery scared me. The nurses had told me that I'd have a baby by 10pm. Here it was 11:45pm, and the thought of pushing any more seemed unbearable. And a little worthless if there had been no progress in 5 hours. Plus, now I had a slight temperature and it was becoming unsafe for me to continue pushing. So, we decided to go ahead with the c-section. Although it wasn't my plan A, I did begin to feel a sense of relief. The nurses did a good job cheering me up too. I realized that now I really would have a baby within a couple of hours.
The nurses prepped me as Dr. Mormol made his way to the hospital. I was wheeled to the OR on my bed. Josh had to wait outside as they prepared. What I saw when we entered is what I fear about medical stuff in general- white walls, bright lights, and lots of shiny and sharp metal objects. Josh was soon let into the room.
I don't remember too much. I remember hearing the word "scissors" and then telling the doctor and nurses in the room (and the anesthesiologist, who I felt was my spokesperson) that I don't want to hear any other talk of what was going on behind the curtain. My husband sat to my right and the anesthesiologist to my left. He gave me medicine and comfort when I needed it- and my husband was ready for baby. I was awake until I heard a baby cry and saw a nurse carry him off to be weighed and checked. Then, I was out. This is where my second expectation failed me. With a c-section, you can't immediately do the skin to skin that I'd heard so much about. The good news is that my husband got to hold Jackson though. And he did for the 45 minutes or so it took them to put me back together.
I eventually woke up and was being wheeled out of the room. I remember them giving me my baby to hold on the way back down to our room. I was nervous though- the railing to my bed was down and I couldn't control my arms that well. They put up the railing and I had a little "cove" for Jackson to sit. All was well.
I think family showed up in our room the moment we returned. It was super early in the morning, and the family took turns holding Baby Jacks. Jacks stayed in the room with us that night- a reason I wanted to have him at MoBap. I loved waking up (every 3 hours to breastfeed) and seeing that little baby burrito so close to us. We were instantly in love like so many had said we would be.
